The Science of ‘Linked To’

 
Yes, it's the ever-popular science of "linked to".

First off, let's hope you don't like bacon.

Bacon consumption, other lifestyle factors linked to stomach cancer in study review

If you feel you're a tad overweight, there's a good reason for it.

Traffic noise may increase risk of belly fat

Plus, bad news for you tall people.

Link between tallness, higher cancer risk

And that's true even if you just have long legs.

Longer Legs Linked to Cancer Risk

Even worse, unless you have a college degree, there's this:

Lack of education may be a cause of shorter life span says study

It's even worse if you don't have a good sense of direction.

Trouble with sense of direction may be linked to early Alzheimer's

And lord help you if you happen to have blue eyes.

Eye color may be linked to alcohol dependence

And, whatever you do, don't sneeze.

Popular drugs for colds, allergies, sleep linked to dementia

In other words, if you happen to be a bacon-loving, blue-eyed, overweight tall person with allergies and a bad sense of direction who didn't graduate from college, you can pretty much just kiss it off.

Finally, if you've ever wondered why so many cat lovers believe in the global warming hoax, science has the answer.

Cat parasite linked to mental illness, schizophrenia

Studies show owning a cat can lead to severe mental illness later in life

Owning cats linked to mental illnesses including schizophrenia and bipolar disorder

And, if you don't own any cats, you've still got an out:

Living near heavy traffic increases risk of dementia, say scientists

Here's a great clip that covers all of the above nonsense.  The part about the 'p-hacking' around the 3-minute mark will sound like every "The Earth Is Dying!" global warming article you've ever read.

Enjoy!