The Beady-Eyed Meat Eaters

 
The next time you hear someone claim to be a vegetarian, ask them if they eat fish.

They'll probably admit they do.  Fish, being a water animal, really isn't like all of those regular bad land animals that they don't eat, being a vegetarian and all.

Then gently ask them if they eat chicken.

They'll hem and haw a bit, but admit that, yes, they'll occasionally have a little bite of chicken, perhaps with a salad — but only if the chicken is organically-grown, of course.

Then gently ask them if they eat turkey.

Well, yes, on Thanksgiving and other special days, they might eat a little turkey.  After all, they eat chicken, don't they?  It would seem kind of silly to suddenly draw the line between chickens and turkeys since they're practically the same thing.

Uh-huh.

In other words, if it has pretty, human-like eyes…

…then it's bad and evil to eat!

But if it has ugly little beady eyes…

…then it's perfectly okay to eat!

They're not "vegetarians", they're just regular ol' people — except they don't eat animals with human-like pretty eyes.  Just animals with ugly little beady eyes.

Or, to properly categorize them, they're the beady-eyed meat eaters.