Good evening, fans of ‘NCIS’.
Well, speculation is already running rampant as to this season’s time-honored ugly, twisted, horrific finale. Personally, I’m subscribing to the theory that two of the agents are going to frame Gibbs for over 300 parking violations, at which point it becomes a felony and he’s forced to resign, thereby allowing for quite an effective little coup d’etat and co-leadership of the team.
As you can see, I’ve posted recent mug shots of the two reprobates I deem most capable of pulling off such a heinous crime. You can see it in their eyes. Well, at least that slimy guy on the right. If you spot either one, please contact Mr. Don Bellisario c/o CBS Studios, Hollywood, CA, and inform him as to their evil intent.
Oh, and decent ethics insist I issue a small disclaimer about this week’s post because of its wild, crazy uniqueness, and my fear of uncounted hopes and dreams being dashed:
There are no clips of hot babes tonight.
So if you just want to skip the whole dang thing, I understand.
We’re going to take a breather from ‘themes’ this week and head off in a different direction.
First, though, since I won’t ever do a whole post on him, I thought I’d pay a little tribute to Ducky’s assistant, Jimmy Palmer, played to perfection by Brian Dietzen.
He’s only been the central figure in one episode, ‘About Face’, and, to be truthful, it was kind of lame. I hate the old "amnesia" dodge. But he did a very credible job and the ending shows not only Palmer overcoming his fears and ‘coming of age’ as a man, but it shows that side of Gibbs that we struggle to put into words, yet have come to know and love.
The FOOF!
That’s what they call that marvelous sound effect at the end.
And what a fine moment that is, above, when he removes his glasses.
Clark Kent lives.
A Question Answered
Albert Einstein
Thomas Edison
Don Bellisario
Dr. Mercury
So it’s true: great minds do think alike.
A few weeks ago, when I praised Don "a god amongst men" Bellisario to the heavens above, I included a picture of him. There were obviously a number of pics on Google to choose from, but, in my studied, great-minded way, I selected the pic below as the quintessential picture of ol’ Don.
Then, thinking that ‘Cover Story’ would be a good episode for an upcoming McGee tribute, I watched it the other night.
Heh:
Don, you and I are really on the same page. Let’s do lunch!
And now for something seriously different.
A few weeks ago I posted two versions of ‘Twilight’, last show of season two, where one of the team members buys the farm. No, not Maggie’s, you goofballs — buys the farm. I also included the ‘director’s track’ version with Tony and Abby (also sometimes known by the odd names "Michael" and "Pauley") and John Kelley, the writer of the episode, where they let it all hang out and basically made "director’s track history" by actually being themselves.
I hadn’t heard the track in months, so didn’t remember any specifics, but someone in the comments noted that Tony had mentioned some "harbingers" of Caitlin’s impending demise.
So I listened to it again, and, unlike last time, where most of the ‘inside stuff’ went over my head, this time I was armed with a wealth of knowledge and realized that the track made good ‘sounding board material’ to pass along some of these behind-the-scenes tidbits. Not to mention their shocking, scandalous behavior regarding the rules.
Rules of the Booth
They talked around it, but it was obvious that the Power That Be had a whole list of recording booth no-nos for the kids. Naturally, they violated every one. So, while some of these are here for the yuks, others are just to note that yet another ‘booth rule’ has been violated by one of these scofflaws. From what I can tell, the only rule these guys didn’t break was "No loud farting." But as to the rest…
1. Now whatever you do, kids, don’t mention booze.
J: It’s a drinking game. You have to drink every time someone dies, or almost dies. For those of you following at home, every time someone dies, or almost dies, you have to take a drink of your favorite beverage.
J: Wait — snake — she could die here. Have to drink.
J: Oh my god, it’s a bomb. Drink.
J: Explosion, oh my. Drink.
T: Our second bomb of the episode — everybody drink.
T: Another shoot-out. I hope everyone’s drinking. The fourth act is where you really get hammered.
A: (giggle) Yeah! (hic!)J: (deadly missile launches) Whoa, double drink!
T: Ooh, harbinger number three. Or seven, depending on how much you’ve been drinking.
2. Or even pretend to drink.
A: John?
J: Yes?
A: You’re doing a commentary.
J: Excuse me, were you talking to me? I was drinking. Are we doing the commentary right now? Are these things on?
A: (giggling) So you’re doing that thing they told us not to do.
3. And we’d appreciate it if you’d stay in your seats.
(opening theme music plays, John gets up and starts dancing)
A: John’s dancing, everyone! John!
4. Oh, and this is important. Remember, the people watching this DVD will have only seen season two, so whatever you do, DON’T GIVE ANYTHING AWAY ABOUT SEASON THREE!
A: I liked his other FBI partner in the other episode, ‘Frame Up’, the one that interrogated you. Remember him?
T: That’s next year’s commentary.
J: No one’s seen those.
A: (facetiously) Oh, I’m sorry. I ruined it.
5. And, of course, it should go without saying that everything is taking place in "Washington" (wink-wink), not here in L.A.
J: I got lost driving down there. It’s not in a great area, but we were shooting this.
T: This was in Washington, DC.
J: Oh, that’s right, I’m talking about Los Angeles — obviously it was Washington. I forgot. Sorrrrr-ry.
6. And remember, we have to assume the audience hasn’t seen the real show yet, so don’t let on that you know something bad is going to happen.
J: (spotting Caitlin as the show begins) I got a real bad feeling about this episode. I hope she makes it.
J: Last time he’s ever going to tuck her in.
A: (facetiously) What are you talking about?(as the show’s nearing the end and the rumor that a team member is going to die comes to the fore…)
J: I don’t think McGee’s going to make it. I got a bad, bad feeling.
J: (After Cait takes the shot to the bulletproof vest) I knew they were lying when they said someone was going to die.
7. Oh, and it should go without saying that we don’t want any product endorsements.
A: The Caf-Pow cup is actually full of…can I say?
T: Sure you can!
A: Hawaiian Punch.
8. Or swearing.
J: You bastard!
9. And we definitely don’t want any dead air space. Don’t just sit there like a bunch of morons watching the show. Talk!
T: We’re all quiet.
A: Yeah, because we’re all watching scenes. We’re not supposed to do that.
10. Once again, this is really important because if we lose the American Family Council’s endorsement it’ll cost us millions of dollars a year, so whatever you do, DON’T .. MENTION … BOOZE!!
J: Hey, I’m out of beer!
One-Liners
When the first really gory scene is shown:
J: This is where my mother calls me and says, "I was eating dinner — you bastard!"
John to Tony, after the show loses Caitlin with a rifle shot to the forehead:
J: What was the episode in the third season where you were sitting in a chair on the set and I came up and said, "Can I take a look at your forehead?"
On the now-infamous Bert:
A: He [John] emails me at 4 o’clock in the morning and I was up, and he said "I’ve been up for four days writing the episode, I haven’t slept, and I just wrote a scene about a farting hippo stuffed animal." And I was like, Huh? And now, of course, Bert has become the most popular member of our cast and crew.
Like you, I’m a huge Bert fan. I think the upcoming special on him should be quite something. Make sure your speakers work.
Q & A Time
Q: What the hell is that area called where their desks are? I believe they’ve used the word "bullpen" a few times on the show, but that’s not the correct word. And, call me silly, but for some reason the trite word "office" just doesn’t work for people packing serious heat. I’ve wanted to use the term "squad room" a few times in my posts, but that doesn’t seem fitting because there aren’t any large, burly desk sergeants sitting around.
A: However…
T: When we were shooting these squad room scenes…
And he uses the term again later. And since "team room" doesn’t seem to get it, I guess "squad room" is the proper term until further notice, lack of burly-armed desk sergeants notwithstanding.
Q: Does the show have product placements?
A: Nope, never. If you freeze the scenes where there appears to be a known product, it’s always fake. The "Playboy" mag Tony reads is actually:
Gibbs munches on:
They all watch:
And there’s one scene where Abby is munching on a bag of potato chips and the brand name is, I shit you not:
Note: In the above pic, although I had a number of frames to choose from, I picked that specific one because I felt it best represented the Abby deep within.
A: The Caf-Pow cup is actually full of…can I say?
T: Sure you can!
A: Hawaiian Punch!
Tony obviously hasn’t gotten the memo yet.
Q: We’ve been giving a lot of kudos in these posts to Executive Producer Don Bellisario. But does he deserve them?
A: Apparently.
J: You know what the great thing is, working with Don Bellisario, he keeps changing the show. It keeps growing, evolving.
Q: What is this, a gol’ dang family reunion?
A: Apparently!
T: (on a close-up of Abby’s hands, which actually aren’t Abby’s) Those are called ‘inserts’. Second unit David Bellisario shoots a lot of that stuff.
A: (spotting some guy in the show) He looks like Michael Bellisario, the guy at the computer there.
I guess the obvious question now is, are these guys Sicilian by any chance?
The Dreaded Harbingers of Doom
So, if something bad happens to one of the team members in the final show of the season, will they give us little clues as the episode progresses?
Don’t count on it. Tony must have been smashed before he ever hit the studio to make such goofy claims about Caitlin’s upcoming demise. He noted three:
1. The opening scene shows a car running over a snake in the road.
T: That’s what we call a ‘harbinger’.
No, Tony, a dead snake would indicate a bad guy is going to die.
2. Caitlin picks up a bloody rag at the crime scene.
T: Another harbinger, Sasha with a bloody rag.
Uh, Tony, this chick picks up body parts for a living. A bloody rag seems kind of tame in comparison. Given that context, this would seem like a good harbinger. Caitlin’s the only one who’s going to live!
3. In the actual episode, Abby says, "I had a weird dream about Tony."
T: Ooh, harbinger number three.
Actually, Abby, any dream about a fictional TV character would be considered "weird".
Most Revealing Line Award
We’ve briefly discussed Tony and Ziva, but what about Tony and that other hot little ticket, Ms. Abigail Sciuto? While we were wondering if she and McGee were going to have a fling at some point, we note that there’s never even been a hint that she might have the hots for Tony.
But check out what Pauley says in the commentary, and what it reveals about how she views her Abby character, and how cool it is because it sticks with the Goth theme.
Caitlin’s just been hammered by a high-powered rifle bullet and Tony looks like this:
And what does Pauley say?
"There’s Abby’s dream."
Cute line, eh? The little Goth girl works down in the lab and secretly has the hots for the handsome field agent — albeit bloodsplattered.
It Won’t Be Pretty Dept.
As to what ugly, twisted, horrific, terrible, awful, gruesome fate is going to befall our loyal troops in the finale, we can only wait and speculate.
So far we’ve seen:
Season 1: Ari lives — and we all know that spells trouble
Season 2: Ari kills Caitlin
Season 3: Gibbs retires in disgust
Season 4: Jeanne’s father turns out to be (gasp!) La Grenouille
Season 5: Jenny’s killed
Season 6: Ziva’s captured by Somalian terrorists
Now, bearing in mind that this is Hollywood and a few real-life rules are bound to be broken just to move the story line along, it’s still true that the show takes such things seriously. And, rather than put our heroes in a real-life struggle as before, they might just throw us a curve ball from the past.
From the comments on one site, here’s an intriguing idea:
I think it’s going to involve Gibbs and that bitchy lady lawyer who was buzzing around earlier in the season. For about three episodes she was always there in Gibbs’s face, questioning his procedure, needling him, trying to push his buttons. Yes, there was a hint of romance between them, but then again, we all know Gibbs’ track record with women. I think she’s going to come back, and she’s going to be armed with stuff from previous episodes that show Gibbs as … um, shall we say "not always within-the-rules" … in his methods.
You look back through the seven years the show’s been on, and there have been a lot of cases where a good defense lawyer could drive a truck through the procedural holes Gibbs left behind. I think the cliffhanger is going to be Gibbs facing a hearing, with not only his NCIS career but also possible criminal charges on the line.
"Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, have you reached a verdict?"
"We have, your honor. We find the defendant… GUILTY of all charges."
(gasps sweep throughout the courtroom and the nation)
(close-up of Gibbs’ stricken face)
"FOOF!"
See ya next Fall, y’all.
A few things that lend credence to the "ghost from the past" scenario is that we don’t currently have any lovable bad guys (Ari, Froggie) running around loose, any extra females we can off (if the show lost a male, who’d know or care?), and the rules say you only get one "retirement crisis" per series. So something creeping out of the past sounds like a good bet.
The only problem with it being a "violated legal procedures" scenario is that, uh, yeah, there’s about fifty violations per episode. It’s the same thing as fan sites keeping track of "ethical violations" on the medical shows. But Hollywood doesn’t imitate real life, nor does it make the claim to, nor should it. Well, not unless you want the most boring TV shows in history.
l’ll be commenting on it until the last show actually airs — then I can comment on how incredibly wrong I was.
In The Beginning
As for tonight’s main attraction, I figured as long as we’re doing a little of this and that, it would be a good time to present the very first show of the series.
One thing to note is that they really had the core essence of the show down pat right from the get-go, especially Gibbs’ reluctance to chit-chat. There are a couple of scenes with Caitlin where any other action hero would be blathering away, displaying what a smart, cool guy he is to the cute Secret Service babe — but not Gibbs. You’ll notice the scenes immediately because they really jump out — just because having a quiet Hollywood hero is so rare.
And one more small thing. As we discuss (intelligently, as any grown-up adults would) whether or not Tony and Ziva are going to do it, bear in mind what Gibbs says at the end of this episode, referring to Caitlin’s sexual peccadillo with an associate and her informing him she’s resigned from her present agency as a result:
Pull that crap at NCIS, I won’t give you a chance to resign.
So there’s that to consider.
Presenting: Yankee White