My Rachel Carson Fantasy

As you might know, Rachel Carson wrote a book called 'Silent Spring' in 1962 where she made a whole bunch of gross assumptions about the dangers of insecticides, got the government involved, and the most effective insecticide in history, DDT, was banned in the U.S., then in Europe.

Knowing how effective it was in fighting mosquitoes and the malaria they carried, the African nations were obviously loathe to jump on the bandwagon, but then the rich nations that sent them aid threatened to stop sending said aid unless they, too, banned it.

So ban it, they did.

As a result, it has been estimated that somewhere in the neighborhood of 230 million Africans have died from malaria since then.  All thanks to authoress Rachel Carson.

So here's my little fantasy:

  • Late at night, I sneak into the cemetery where ol' Rachel is buried.
  • I unearth her tombstone, put it in the back of my truck.
  • I bring it to my workshop where I chisel a new line into it.
  • I then take some special chemicals and apply it to the new line to make it look aged and indistinguishable from the rest of the inscription.
  • I then sneak it back into the cemetery and put it back, carefully tending the earth around it so you can't tell it's recently been unearthed.

And voila!

In all fairness, I think she should get credit where credit is due.