(written the day before the first Republican YouTube debate)
"Hi, Jim! Did you watch the Republican YouTube debate last night?"
"No, darn it. Bill was sick and I had to cover for him. Why? What happened?"
"They came across as a bunch of idiots! They couldn't even answer the simplest questions!"
"Check it out! I've got the proof right here."
YOUTUBER: Hi, my name's Mark from Flatbush, Arkansas, and I have a yes-or-no question for Mr. Romney. With all due respect, sir, when did you stop beating your wife?
ROMNEY: Well, uh, I mean I, uh-
"See? He couldn't even answer the question — which proves he's still beating his wife!"
"Now check this one out."
YOUTUBER: Hello, my name is Catherine and I live in the great city of Minneapolis! My question is for Mr. Giuliani and his stance against global warming. Mr. Giuliani, why do you want the polar bears to die? Don't you like polar bears?
GIULIANI: Well, uh, the problem with global warming is very complicated, Catherine, and doesn't really have anything to do with polar bears, per se, but-
"See how he avoids the issue? The guy hates polar bears!"
"And it gets even worse! I have a clip right here that shows Fred Thompson actually attempting to deny he married a trophy wife!"
"You bet! Boy, the Republicans' hypocrisy was certainly on display last night!"
For your viewing pleasure, Act 2 will be performed tomorrow night in real-time.